Hello, greetings from my tiny room up in the second floor of a middle-class house in Lima, Peru. I finally have some time to write, next week it’s my Linguistics and French midterm and I’m a bit afraid about it but today’s not about my fears, technically. Now I’ll compare these two wicked little monsters, I’m talking about Maven Callore from the Red Queen series (?) by Victoria Aveyard, and Joffrey Baratheon from the A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin.
Exhibit A. Perfect Exterior.
So yeah, these characters are painfully gorgeous, like just pure beautifulness. Those bitches! First, there’s Maven. He’s pretty with his appealing features that define him as the lovely second Prince who is smart and super kind. Such a nice guy, with the best intentions, only trying to help the main character and slowly growing in her heart to the point of seeing him more than friendly like. He has obviously inherited the best looks on both his parents, her mother’s exquisiteness and his father’s feral demeanour. He’s perhaps not as hot as his older brother but he’s definitely a guy to look without regrets. His manners are so polished and polite with everyone he believes should be treated equally, he seems fair and loyal. There’s no question right there, he’s just a prince with lots of bad luck.
Then comes Joffrey. Dear, most people have only seen the portrayal of the TV adaptation but you must understand this young man is not just attractive in a way, he’s the embodiment of Prince Charming. At least in everyone’s (mostly Sandra’s) side, with his curly yet long golden hair that competes with the sun itself, his perfectly shaped bone structure that brings up a memory of innocence and delicateness that somehow manages to maintain his masculinity intact, but let’s not forget those cat-like green eyes. He surely has no problem in being charming and such a flirty gentleman with every lady he sets his eyes on. He indeed inherited the Lannister’s extremely good looks from his hurtfully dazzling mother. He starts behaving like such an stereotypical way that makes the reader understand in bits why dummie Sansa comes to adore him so much. And besides, he’s the crown prince!
Exhibit B. Mama’s Boy.
There’s some serious SPOILERS if you had planned to read this book so don’t keep reading if you did wanted. It is known in the fandom how fucked up that plot twist was. But I saw it coming, cuz no bitch is that dreamy unless they have some messed up issues going on; with Maven it was his mommy stuff. He worships her to a really dark level, it doesn’t touch incest but it is almost like it. He would do terrible shady stuff cuz he’s just as manipulative as her. He wasn’t as greedy, technically, but still he lets her rule his whole life. He truly follows that odd and old quote of “Mother knows best”, he irremediably lives by that “rule”. And of course, mama wants the best for her kid even if it meant to reign above the ashes of a burning empire, or ya know letting him watch how you force his older brother to kill his father. Yeah, that kinda fucked up.
When it comes to Joffrey’s own mommy deal, it’s a little different. I mean his mom/aunt is a bitch but she’s too overprotective and has zero control over the little monster she raised. She only thought him to be aware of his looks and power, but never to respect her voice neither her status a his mother. He had a bad example from the beginning but still holds a bit of tenderness (if we could call it that way) towards her, just an almost inexistent bit. He had no father figure to show him what being a king was from the start, so he only had the idea that being a ruler was being a dreadful dictator and that everyone became his with the crown to end if he wanted so. Well, if we also had a sociopath for a mother who also enjoys crazy shit like having loveless sex with many people but still claims to love her brother, who doesn’t give a rat’s ass about her other kids (yeah, I said that and still hold that), who pretty much feels awesome when a poor little girl is beaten for her son’s pleasure. It was obvious that the thing that came out of such despicable beauty was meant to be equal, a maybe a bit more effing mental.
Exhibit C. Vicious Creature.
For me, Maven was always the bad guy. I never like him, not even when he pretended to be all goody-two-shoes, I didn’t believe that act for a second. When you read that much YA, you start to become aware of many details and you expect things like this too happen, but I was definitely not remotely ready for him to take Mare and make her his slave at the end of Glass Sword. Too unexpected. With that one scene we find out many other details, and a bit of the character’s background as well. I mean, I found out that Mare wasn’t his soft spot, the thing that made him human but his mother because once she was out of the picture. Little usurper went nuts, he was already twisted and bonkers killing weak reds cuz of their powers but now he’s frighteningly sadistic and bloodthirsty, and I’d also say that he could easily be bestial in the next installment. It makes me worried and so scared (like wetting my bed, scare) for what could poor Mare endure with this wacko.
After that, there’s young bitch Joffrey. Cuz he’s not only a definite mind fuck but he also manages to evolve into an irritating coward who hides under his mother’s skirt, for real. Battle of Blackwater, may I mention it? Then he handles to turn into a mysoginist piece of crap when he sends Sansa to be beaten and stripped, but in her face cuz her liked her face. WTF, that little shit needed to die since day one, seriously. When he killed those kittens and showed them to his “father” I was so proud of Robert for kicking that crap out of that weirdo, I’m not pro child abuse but this was just insanity! He even terrified his little brother, even his own terrible mother. That little bastard (literally) was like Trump on steroids with an actual pretty face, so you can’t imagine how much I laughed while listening the audio book at the exact moment I was waiting for a class to start and Joffrey suddenly died. I swear, I held the happiest smile ever.
BTW, I couldn’t help myself from imagining Maven just like Joffrey when I read the first one but then my perspective changed. Because even though Joffrey was a badass maniac, he still was a little moaning coward. When Maven might be the most annoying one I’ve read in a long time, he faced his battles and wasn’t afraid of showing the world just how screwed up he was. Two ravishing and sinister kings, they had to be twins!
For this I just picked one. This describes pretty well both characters, it’s like a more modern version of them was singing it up to me. The lyrics fit them so well, and I don’t know what else to say to convince you this is theirs. Here it goes, *Savages by Marina and the Diamonds*.
Is it running in our blood
Is it running in our veins
Is it running in our genes
Is it in our DNA
Humans aren’t gonna behave
As we think we always should
Yeah, we can be bad as we can be good
Underneath it all, we’re just savages
Hidden behind shirts, ties and marriages
How could we expect anything at all
We’re just animals, still learning how to crawl
We live, we die
We steal, we kill, we lie
Just like animals
But with far less grace
We laugh, we cry
Like babies in the night
Forever running wild
In the human race