This week has been pretty hellish, right? Even I, a 20 year old coming from a third world country in South America, can feel the lack of happiness and hope there might be in your hearts but just stay strong and as many beloved book characters: Fight for your rights, for your freedom and your home.
Anyways, let’s go back to the reason I’m writing tonight, which is that I fell asleep after coming back from a fun English class and a headache known as French tuition (I did fine, actually! So yay!), and I just woke up from that six hour sleep; after all I couldn’t stop posting this book tag that I hope one day will become popular or at least known. But that’s not the real aim of this blog, I do this cuz I love writing as well as reading and the English language, I think of this as a therapy for annoyance, after all who doesn’t find comfort in living other lives through the written word? Or analysing characters like the ones I’ll be comparing which are Corrine Foxworth from the Dollanganger series by V.C. Andrews and Jocelyn Fairchild from the Shadowhunter Chronicles by Cassandra Clare. Many people will possibly be challenging me because I think these two are two leaves of the same branch, not because of the hateful reason only but also cuz of the mood change after depression. Trust me, you’ll understand why I made this choice by the end of this entry.
Exhibit A. Dream Youth.
Alright, let’s make a statement by saying that I’m using the ‘Garden of Shadows’ upbringing, not the ‘Flowers In the Attic’ loveless memories Corrine told Cathy about so… Her childhood was pretty happy with both her ‘parents’, actually it might have been too perfect since she became a spoiled teenage girl with expensive hobbies like horseback riding with daddy Garland and other more tender ones like sharing special talks with mommy dearest Olivia after she finally understood she wouldn’t become a proper naive young lady. After all, she was the last child and only daughter they ‘had’, besides being the apple of her father’s eye since she was born. But it wasn’t until Christopher arrived that she found selfless love and the adrenaline that was living in what people called sin inside that isolated swan room. It was young love, for which she risk and lost the parental love as well as their money and control but she didn’t care. For the first time, she cared for other rather than herself. She wasn’t only the beautiful ornament but the other half of what she thought was the epitome of true perfection.
In Jocelyn’s case, she came from a loving Shadowhunter family. The Fairchild bloodline is quite known for this particular trait, they are loved as much as they give away that love too. And this youngster was no exception, she loved and cherished her best friend Luke in his darkest moments but she made a mistake in falling for Valentine, like most people did at that time. However, this stunning teenage redhead was joyful when she married him and in their first instants as a marriage, even when she became pregnant with their first child to the point of trusting too much. There’s when she was betrayed by her own kindness and faith around the one she should have never given in. When her own newborn child became the victim, and she became the helpless victimiser. When her heart surrounding that past became of stone, as hard as the kicks and punches she gave away while hunting demons.
Exhibit B. Loving Mother.
After running away with Christopher, they got married in no time. Many things had to be cut short in the money area for a start, she made that sacrifice, she killed that for love. And she regain that good cheer with her children, her four gorgeous Dresden Dolls, that became her pride. She couldn’t show up as many jewellery as she would prefer, but she would parade her perfect rays of sunshine for the world to see. For all, her mother had told her that those born out of that incestuous sin would turn out being deformed circus freaks, but she was wrong: she gave birth to porcelain skin and fair haired little angels and she adore them dearly. She realised she was jolly being their mother, that she only needed her little family to feel that way. And she was admired by her children as well, as a beautiful woman in every possible way a person could have any beauty. And even after her most out of character time, she looked for their forgiveness in the only fashion she knew: sacrifice.
With Jocelyn, there’s no doubt she is a devoted mother to Clary and even a bit to Simon. Despite having her own skeletons, she did what she thought was right for her daughter; she didn’t want to make the same artless mistakes so she chose for her daughter to give her a bright and peaceful childhood, and why not a possible future as well. She became exaggeratedly overprotective of Clary, and she had good reasons: since the Shadow World had let her down in every conceivable form, she didn’t wish for her daughter to suffer the same as she did so she blinded her to the awfulness but also to the wonderful things about it. The redhead matured, became way more fierce and learnt to trust again but only in few people as Luke allowing him to enter her daughter’s life or Magnus and Tessa, the ones who showed them forgiveness for her past actions. All for the daughter she was always proud of.
Exhibit C. Trauma Leads to Cold-hearts.
After Christopher’s tragic death, Corrine lost a part of what made her this new person. She lost the good nature that drove her out of frivolity and heartlessly, she lost the one that made her truly believe that all she needed was love. So when she realised she had to survive, she suffered with the worst decision of her life, because locking her children in her parents’ house’s attic was her undoubted doom. Without Christopher, she went back to been spoiled and developed such an obsession with her father’s inheritance that she was willing to let her own children starved for a week, be mentally and physically abused by their bitter grandmother, be unable to feel the sunshine on their skin, go to school, talk to others besides themselves and take away their innocence by force. She indeed stole their childhood as Cathy accused her of during their brief and last encounter in ‘If There be Torns’, she did gave away their love for damn jewels and money. That time she didn’t sacrificed herself, she sacrificed her sinless children and forged them to be heartless, selfish and hateful towards her, but inside they were still scared and shattered for all those years without the mother they once loved.
For Jocelyn the moment she saw her son’s dark eyes and all because of what her own husband had done to that little baby, she just couldn’t hold him. She tried hard to love him and she did, at least the child she always wanted to have, the idea that maybe she would grow to love the actual child she was holding. We could say she conformed with little demon blooded Jonathan, and once she thought he had been killed by his own father, she cried and remembered the poor child’s fate. That’s the real reason why she protected Clary, so she wouldn’t be reduce as a bargain for Valentine’s purposes and hatred. After that unforgettable way of loosing one’s child, she kept recalling him by looking into his baby box proving she love him or at least pitied him like anyone would do to a lone toddler. But when she knew he was still alive and had killed, she knew her concerns had always been right that the innocent sight of a harmless boy was gone, and instead there was a loathsome monster. Right until she was turned into a nefilim full of good, she could finally see her baby with green eyes and was able to mourn her boy with mother’s tears. However, from my point of view I saw her a bit of a bad mom around him and I’m not trying to defend Sebastian (trust me, I hated the guy till his death) but of she had tried harder she would have still had some kind of mother feelings for him and not try to kill him right away or judge him as an abomination before knowing about Max’s murder. When he was a little boy, he suffered because of his mother’s lack of love for him that made him believe he was a dreadful monster incapable of changing. Every mother, no matter how fucked up the child is (just ask Cathy about Bart in ‘Seeds of Yesterday’), will preach to that child, won’t let anyone hurt him and if the mother did wrong will try to beg for forgiveness seeing the man as a child still. I saw non of those characteristics in Jocelyn, which for me was a bit hypocritical during ‘City of Heavenly Fire’ whe she let him die in her arms and dared to cry. I know I’m no mother to judge her on that but, that’s just how I saw it. She gave away a son, for a daughter. #NotRight
These two are two particular mothers, one neglected on child till he became what she wanted him to be and the other drove her four children into an incestuous getaway, a suicidal way out of pain, and arsenic covered donuts. They were clearly victims as well as victimisers, there’s doubt about it; but if I had to choose the worst one would be Corrine, because… Do I really need to tell you?!.
When I came up with these two women, a song never came to my mind. There was non called “shitty mom” on my Spotify playlist so I had to find one that could technically justify their actions, so one’s lyrics made me thought of how the lost of Christopher affected Corrine, also how the tragic ‘death’ and appearance of Jonathan touched Jocelyn. So I came across *Dark Paradise by Lana del Rey*.
And there’s no remedy for memory your face
Like a melody, it won’t lift my head
Your soul is hunting me and telling me
That everything is fine
But I wish I was dead
Every time I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side
Every time I close my eyes
It’s like a dark paradise
No one compares to you
But there’s no you, except in my dreams tonight