RLAM: #146

Hi, so this is terribly late.

But, hey I forgot to post this yesterday and I just remembered after getting back home after university classes. Anyways, I totally believed that I had read like a short embarrasing amount of books but hey, I ate 9 stories these couple of weeks and I’m glad, however I know I could have read more if I hadn’t been in my grandma’s house not having a good childish Halloween all weekend. Normally, I dress up with my little children cousins and that’s ok by me, as an introvert who’s too afraid to not find any costume that could fit her newly rounded body as there were no formal invitations these last couple of years but whatever, instead I spent my week trying eating out some huge pizza with my older sister, getting selfies I look semi decent in, and obvi not getting the Halloween/Cartoon Network donuts from Dunkin Donuts I craved for, besides I had to teach some English and Math to my annoying almost teenage cousin. As I tried to write I lost an entire day of it because I wasn’t getting my other cousin’s laptop and I got too invested in going through my social media, but whatever what’s done is done, right? Let’s go with the actual news, I’m doing a review on the new Netflix book to screen adaptation of ‘Let It Snow’, and I can’t wait to be 33.3% dissapointed on its execution, so wait for it.

First book I read was the tough as nails, ‘Little Monsters‘ by Kara Thomas.

Little Monsters

Kacey’s new best friends have a thing for playing with her… Her emotions, her life, her fears like she was their doll and Kacey lets it happen since she wants to make it work, even to the point where she begins to question if that friendship is right. But before she can even consider this, her mind goes blank and when she wakes up one of her friends has gone missing and everyone is pointing her as the guilty one.

** spoiler alert ** DAMN.

Kara Thomas, you are just fucking amazing, I mean I’m inspired to write more of this genre because of your premium level stories, seriously keep doing it, I need to be fed. It’s just marvelous work, piece of deadly fiction. Perfect, I mean just when I thought these mystery YA novels could no surprise me anymore, here it comes ‘Little Monsters’ and its shocking plot twist! Again, damn! So yeah, after that little thankful preamble, I must admit I shipped the hell out of Andrew and Kacey, I mean he was nice and they had this relationship but only like platonic and sibling like, so yeah, whatever. Next: I totally had my list of suspects before that big reveal, I thought that it could have been Kacey because she said she blacks out, besides she had this anger management background so it would be shocking that the main character was the killer all the fucking time but no, then my next guess was that perhaps Ashley did it, I mean she drugged her kids with god knows what, she’s not stable trying to keep her marriage while her kids are suspects, then the knife was her own, so yeah there was that. Then I believed it could have been Andrew but that was a weak lead that not even in the greates theories it could have had substance enough to be real. Finally, I totally saw that Jade had to do with it, I mean she was always in the background of all of Bailey’s crazy schemes, also she had no real ‘family’ so she could’ve wanted Bailey’s all along, I mean bitch slept in her fucking bed right away, but I never expected to be out of that cold heart and selfish nature of hers I mean her mom was not even dead and she totally manipulated poor unstable Lauren. BTW, I was like WTF, Lauren?!! HOW FUCKING COME?! I was shocked, I mean that’s what I call great prosperous narrative and such creativity. Though I still have some questions like, where was Jade’s mom all along? Was it really her dad the man living with her or someone else? What really happened to the Red Woman? So many unanswered questions. I wish there would be a novella like to give us that. Jezz.
“Girls are not princesses, and I know all the possible endings to the stories about the girls in peril. They’re rarely happy.”
“(…) all the ghost stories got it wrong: evil isn’t a spirit or a monster or a ghost. It lives inside regular people, and it doesn’t know the difference between night and day.”
“But that’s the problem with letting someone slowly chip away at your walls-when you let too much of yourself out, there’s no way to get it back.”
“Some men just aren’t cut out to be fathers of teenage girls.”
“I don’ have any of that to look back on. I wish it only made me sad, not pissed off, but my anger and sadness have always had a codependent relationship. I don’ know no to be angry at the fact that who I am now isn’t good enough; that I’m not a little girl.”

Second story I read was a prequel of Little Monsters, a short story called ‘Wrath‘ by the same author.

The ‘Red Lady’ has been part of the culture of a small town, but what is there that’s actually real? What’s hiding on the woods? What whispers death into your ears once she chooses you? All the answers will go to a lonely girl that only wanted to have a good time with her girls at a college party.

I HAD LOTS OF QUESTIONS, AND THEY WERE ANSWERED.

So you mean to tell me that that woman wearing red blood was real?! F M L! I mean, great because she saved that poor unfortunate girl from that middle aged raper, but damn the ghost is real and can kill, so that means that damn Lauren could have been easily manipulated by the very real GHOST… which means she could or couldn’t be dangerous or possibly could still spend all her life on an asylum because the red woman might have grown attached to that poor little girl. I’m still left with some many “what if” kind of statements in my head. We seriously need a damn sequel.

Then I read a 90s parallel universe like story known as ‘Out of Salem‘ by Hal Schrieve.

Out of Salem

Monsters are real. And now Z just discovered her parents died and she’s slowly becoming a zombie in a world that hates on the supernatural, even when they’re scared to death teenagers living in the unpredictable 90s. But she’ll soon discover that being a zombie might not be her only uncertainty… but the intolerant townies ready to end anyone who’s different human or not.

PLEASE, TELL ME THIS’LL HAVE A SEQUEL.

Dear, Lord. First, I mean the idea was cool I mean a less provocative vintage True Blood style of the supernatural being out there but terribly judged in a manifesto of how minorities and LGBTQ+ communities were dealt with in the 90s. Somehow, it was all too loose for my liking until a 60% of the book, I mean it isn’t that the characters weren’t likable but the plotline had no place to hold on to, IDK, perhaps that was only my perspective, who knows. But after that the plotline had somewhere to go, it had a goal after all: looking for freedom while running from the police and all the republican intolerant bitches. And now, there’s even a bigger plotline with that little twist, I mean they could be in another dimension? What about our dimension with no supernaturals? Could it be that? Ok, let’s talk about the writing style, it was ok, I mean I’m not complaining thought I wish it was more IDK, more entertaining something I could just go along, I know this from the pov of a zombie but still I want to live the experience, anyways, it was good. Not amazing like everyone says but definitely very provocative and redundant, as it was creative, artsy even. I hope there’s a sequel, though.
“Stuff happens and you get weird forever, (…)”.

Fourth book I read was a neonazi parallel universe named ‘The Big Lie‘ by Julie Mayhew.

The Big Lie

What if the Nazis had won WWII? What if they were still in power all over Europe? That’s the reality Jessica Keller has lived, the life she thinks is the right way of living, the only one fit for her. Until she starts questioning the way women are treated, young women are treated, the way she is treated like she didn’t matter and perhaps… Just perhaps, that’s no longer the right way of living her own life.

** spoiler alert ** I STILL DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL. IDK.

So when I got this book, I don’t know if I read the synopsis well or maybe I was distracted by the word “lie” in that lovely pink cover, but I had no idea this was gonna be present day universe where the Nazis won WWII, damn. Anyways, I must admit I don’t particularly like these stories if there’s no uprising to defeat the great evil with action packed moments, so I have to say that perhaps it was not my favorite coming of age tale, I mean I appreaciate the whole “let’s have another way of thinking of the shitty Nazi beliefs because maybe the who programing and racist perfection is not so cool”, since it was almost enough, I mean this girl Jess lives in a world full of fucking opression and brain washed individuals, it was almost worse than The Handmaiden’ Tale when it came to an anti-feminist agenda, Jesus I found my soft core again trying to counsel and hug this girl because of that rapey moment between her and FUCKING Felix, aka the perv teacher, dude! And btw, I found Clementine’s bravery one of the best I’ve ever laid eyes upon, she wasn’t looking to get saved or running away like a coward, hell no, she went off in fucking flames like a pro, she was braver than Katniss. In other news, I just totally wish Jess wasn’t brainwashed again, I want her to still try to plot against Hitler and all that awful region of fanatics, no joke. Otherwise, this was just another story where I’m impotent towards the shit innocent people get thrown at. Give me some hope, please.

“Not everyone can be a leader.”
“You’re only bad if they catch you.”
“We are underdogs but we scare the hell out of them.”
“We hide books so they can’t be burned. We keep thought alive.”
“We decide that surviving isn’t enough. We want to live.”
“I wish I’d grabbed that joy with the both of my hands, do you know what I mean? Joy in whatever form it comes to you. Whatever the consequences…”
“I came to this conclusion: admitting that your parents are wrong is too hard. (…) Acknowledging that they haven’t stepped up to the job and cared for you in the right way is close to impossible.”
“It’s better to live a short honest life, (…), than a long, long, long one in the dark.”
“Do you ever feel like you are not your body? That you are trapped inside of it? A soul, if you like. (…) Even though you want to leave your body behind, your greatest wish is to be reconnected with it. (…) But you can’t do either of those things-leave or go back- because either way you’re trapped.”
“I had done something that I believed in. Not something I had been instructed to do, something that came from within me. It felt good. It felt like being good.”
“The strongest rebellion is to stay alive, (…). That way you can change things, have your say. Outnumber them.”

Next I read another stand-alone named ‘The History of Jane Doe‘ by Michael Belanger.

The History of Jane Doe

The moment Jane Doe went inside his classroom that first day of school, he just knew that she would rock his world. However, nothing prepared Ray to loose everything in what was left of his universe in his small town just because she’s gone… This is the story of how a girl actually ended up truly changing Ray’s life forever.

PEOPLE SHOULD REALLY READ THIS WHEN THEY FIND OUT ABOUT PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESS.

Lately, I’ve been reading a couple of books with this same topic without actually noticing my interest on it. I neve thought I could actually discuss this with others, I thought it would always be me sharing this emotion nobody I told about had felt before, this helpless sadness that no matter how much you push away it haunts you like a fucking black hole ready to swallow you. My depression wasn’t as serious as the one despicted here and in other books, mine was the lucky kind where you get a couple antidepresants and you’re “fixed” but there’s still that fear that it might come back if I get too sad by my own life and lack of connections so yeah that’s what this book made me realise. Because this is what life with mental illness truly is, a lot of laughter but still that moment of unstoppable sadnes that comes for you, when friends that care like Ray and relatives like Jane’s parents can’t fully understand and are constantly trying to fix for their own happiness and your own sanity as well, I mean this story represented that exactly: what goes through the minds of those who are around the depressed individual. How it all starts with a person and there’s that chance that this person has it, like when Ray didn’t understand how it worked, how it wasn’t a matter of just wishing to be happy, how he suffered the consequences of loving Jane with her sinking outcome, how he realised this wasn’t about his sadness over loosing her but how She was the main person in those moments. How SHE truly was, not to affect others with her leaving but with how it affected HERSELF. I stick with the statement of how this book can help others to finally see depression as it is, not a made up thing as I once heard from some relatives, but something you simply don’t get and is not up to the person who suffers from it to get rid of those “sad feelings”. Anyways, leaving the seriousness behind, I’d like to add that I’ve never read anything from Michael Belanger and I must admit that this was a great way to start, he’s a great writer with a capacity for fun one-liners, memorable characters (amazing Simon) and full-on making readers cry over memories wether those were gleeful or just incredibly devastating. PROPS!
“I thought of my own family trips, the nonsensical fights (…). All the signs of a healthy, functional family.”
“Change is good, Ray. Otherwise, life is boring.”
“People don’t like simple explanations, Jane said. It kind of takes the magic out of life.”
“One thing doesn’t define you. It’s just part of the truth.”
“I imagine all the kids who believe in Santa and a benevolent universe that keeps score rewarding the good and punishing the bad. But I don’t believe that anymore. Now I don’t know what to believe.”
“We look back and know that using leeches and draining people’s blood was a bad idea. That you can’t just pray for a cure. But with depression and stuff, people still act like something’s wrong with you. That you’re choosing it or something. But they are not.”
“Life is unpredictable, she said.”
“I realized how hard it must have been for her. To go around feeling like you had to be embarrassed and ashamed. That your love of folk music, your drawing, chasing conspiracy theories and weird histories-you could add all them up, but they’d still feel less than your sadness.”
“Lately I’ve been feeling like a terminally ill patient, but without the Make-A-Wish Foundation. No national headlines, no supporters pouring on donations, no celebrities wishing me well, no towns pretending I’m a superhero for a day. I guess that’s how it is for most of us. Our pain goes unnoticed, we suffer alone, (…).”
“Were you ever in love?
Of course, she says, too quickly for it to be full of shit. But love doesn’t keep people together.”
“Maybe this is cynical, but I get the feeling that his visit is more of his conscience than it is for me. Like I’ve forced him to take a break from his real life (…).”
“He’s checking off boxes so he seems like a good guy. He can play the part of the tragic hero fleeing an unhappy marriage. Respecting the wishes of his wife and son to give them space. And then flying back to his hometown to help his son cope with his demons. How brave. Fucking father of the year.”
“As long as there are people, there will be problems, he said.”
“When someone dies, we spend so much time looking for an explanation. The rest of the time we spend making sure we won’t forget them. So we built statues. Hold memorials. Visit graves. All of these physical marker that make it impossible to forget. But what if it’s the opposite? What if the only way we can really remember is if we stop looking to the past? Maybe then they’ll become more them and less us.”
“The past is now just the past. The amazing, complicated, tragic, beautiful, fantastic past.”
“(…) the good kind of sad. The kind that means you really care about something. The kind that means you have something to lose.”
“Visionaries don’t see with their eyes, they see with their hearts.”

The sixth one was ‘Killing November‘ by Adriana Mather, the first part of her new series that goes by the same name.

Killing November

November’s dad has always thought the world could turn up against them in a second, so he insisted on her not be so trusting of others, even those that look like friends but she never learnt. Now she’s starting to understand his motivations, the moment he leaves her in a deadly Boarding School, not only the girls are mean but also cruel vixens with knifes, not only are the boys atractive but also cruel sadists, and not only are the stundents secretive but they also could be potential killers ready to put the blame on the new girl. Does November have what it takes to survive here? Or, she’ll not only loose her morality but her own self.

** spoiler alert ** IT LIVED THROUGH ITS POTENTIAL.

I was expecting a sacred mystery and somehow I got it, not in the way I wanted it but I’m happy with the outcome, I mean I got this set of characters with a lot of potential and badass qualities I hadn’t seen since Nightschool, but I loved that this girl’s main core is her emotional self towards the coldness of her other robot like classmates. It was a refreshing sight, with no fear to get nasty and violent in the most unlikely way for a YA book, I mean I can’t recall quite well if I ever saw any main character receive a punch in the face like that or a slap that rough, the choice were fearless and props to that. But let’s discuss this whole murder mystery deal, I had my money on Pippa or even Layla for moments, I mean it would be my obvious first call but in the end it was Conner this whole time, this psychiatrist or psycho-something that I seriously imagine as this short guy balded with glasses and a nice personality, IDK why, I relate these counselor characters with that appearance but hell no this man was a little raw deadly son of bitch. And the whole mystery of her parents was like too obvi, the moment these amazing past students were mentioned twice I just knew it had to be them, besides there was the whole we can’t intermarry or else death, that gave me another clue. It was too obvi, but somehow I’m not upset by the lack of mystery right there, I guess I just enjoyed the ride through all those fascinating classes and the richness of every single character, even the accent master girl. Jezz, I seriously have issues remembering all their names, anyways, can’t wait for the next one since this has the potential to become a series.
“Having a healthy sense of suspicion prepares you for every possible danger.”
“(…) if you can’t do something without being noticed, create confusion.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere.”
“Curiosity is [a] human instinct, (…)”.
“Maybe there’s a fine line between sadness and anger, (…).”
“While something can be helpful in a small dose, it can be lethal in a large one. I’m not only talking about substances here-mediations someone might be taking of cleaning products they use. I’m asking you to look beyond what is obvious to the more subtle and, if you can master them, the best of the poisons: emotional and psychological. If you can dose someone strongly enough with either one, death is likely to follow no physical evidence left behind.”
“(…) caring for someone means so much responsibility that it’s overwhelming.”

After that I ventured deep in the compilation of short Christmas stories known as ‘Let It Snow‘ by John Green, Maureen Johnson and Lauren Myracle.

Let It Snow

Normally, Christmas is full with peace and family hugs but in this small town things might be a little different this year. Three friends will risk their life to get a Twister game to the Waffle house full of cheerleaders. Two strangers will find a home in each other’s words. And a self-absorbed girl will have to find a pig or else she’ll loose her friends for good. All nice and calm under the mistletoe.

WHO KNEW CHRISTMAS COULD BE THIS SWEET WITHOUT CHEESYNESS?.

I must admit that I ventured on this journey thinking that it was only a little John Green tale two years ago, I mean I delayed it a lot… like two years for me to hurry up trying to read it in one seat because the movie is coming out in a week… Only to find out that Netflix totally erased the last story and add on the pig plus the name of Addie, which makes me terribly upset since they’ll erase the nice little man Jeb is to her and how they are so good for each other to give her an LGBTQ+ plot that I know is meant to show equality and you know diversity but dude, you just missed the oportunity to give some Native American representatives a fucking call with this couple. But whatever, let’s discuss the three most lovely love short stories related to Christmas season, I mean I believed this would be so slow and perhaps a bit boring but no, hell no, it was actually totally relatable and cute, and funny. Besides the characters and the most ridiculous situations sorrounding them were legit priceless. I mean the waffles and cheerleaders and twister, and pimpim moms, and piglet robber angels, too much for me to take and I hope that at least with the first two stories Netflix can put out some justice. Anyways, now I’m so glad I picked this book to read now, I recommend it with a playlist of Sia’s Christmas album and perhaps some Christma’s Glee album too.

“One person’s crazy is another person’s sane, I guess.”
“The expression is: a boy’s best friend is his mother. It’s not: a boy’s best pimp is his mother.”
“Holidays bring out neediness like nothing else –(…).”
“Christmas is a state of mind.”

The seventh book I read was the contemporary romancy stand-alone named ‘Hot Dog Girl‘ by Jennifer Dugan.

Hot Dog Girl

Lou Parker has been chosen again to play the Hot Dog at Magic Castle Playland, and she hates it. The girlfriend of her crush has landed on the Princess role and she hates it. And playland is going to close together with her last living good memories of her family before her mom went away, and she hates it. But she has a plan, a strange unrealistic plan to get the guy she wants, and her job place for good with the help of her Knight in shining armour, her bff Seeley. Or it could blow up in her face, who knows?

** spoiler alert ** I MUST ADMIT I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS ONE’S SYNOPSIS AND READ IT BECAUSE OF THE FUNNY COVER.

I didn’t remember at all that I was gonna read a lovely queer romance that had me crushing and making heart eyes at everything, besides this one has got some bi representation when it is needed so badly, without judgement or sexist puns. I mean this one was so great, about how we truly are “in-love” with the outside, because we love this idea of people around us and try to make it perfect for us in a way, that’s what happened with adorable yet scheme loving Lou, you may think the girl was a little too obsessed and kind of dellusional but damn, I never felt more identified with a character’s crazy all over the place thoughts and words, I mean girl, I’m that 24×7, trying to avoid the ugly parts of her life by giving herself a purpose for this summer, whether it’s getting the guy she likes or keeping her beloved place of work, that’s somehow what I call determination no matter the odds or comments about how nuts this is. I’m siding with Lou, and who doesn’t want a bff like Seeley? I mean, the girl deserves a prize for putting up to every crazy idea Lou drove her into to get her ways, besides maybe not friendly but girl is a definite good kisser. And what about a guy like Nick to be a friend or whatever? I mean the guy had me with the baking abilities, I need that ASAP! Anyways, what a great start for a new author, props on the funny bits and the whole crazy yet hilarious situations Lou got us into, and the concept itself of the Hot Dog Girl. I would recommend it to people looking for easy reads and contemporary romances with a spark of uniqueness. It’s nothing that makes you cry but aww all over the place as you LOL for your dear life.
“It’s literally impossible not to smile back when a boy in an apron looks at you like you just made his whole night.”
“I’m not how people think. Nobody is, apparently.”
“It feels good to be liked.”

Finally I read was a coming-of-age tale known as ‘Summer of ’69‘ by Todd Strasser.

Summer of 69

Right in the Summer of Love, Lucas has to make a choice is he willing to be send to war or he’ll finally settle down to make his own future something worth living. While his estranged girlfriend is away, he is tempted to cheat to relieve his urges, he’s tempted to give a damn about how he’s ruined his chances of going to college, he’s tempted to do everything he can to avoid killing others. But will it all be enough with the drugs and unknown world near him?

** spoiler alert ** THIS WAS ONE OF THOSE WEIRD YET PROVOCATIVE RIDES.

I was on it the moment I saw the cover and read the plot, I thought I was into it because of the whole 60s hippie kind of thing, but I was so so so wrong. I mean, I was mostly bored trying to connect to Lucas for like 48% of the book, he was just so whiny and such a junkie, and so inmature and I know he was like just came out of HS with this whole Peace and Love lust for drugs, I got it. But I figured out it was the times and also some of the upbringing, that even now there are things that some believe are false just because it doesn’t suit with their alternative facts. I mean for me, he was a poser and that’s it. But when I kept reading I got where it all came from, His family life was not the best. His mom living in denial for the best of her life and her kids’, as his dad (shitty paterfamilias, yeah I got used to that nickname) was always not the loving type but in the end he was but he’s still a nasty dick no matter how much good he did for Lucas, and the whole backstory of his brother Brett. Yeah, that together with cousing Barry passing was harsh. Anyways, I ended up enjoying the many details and layers this book had, such as showing us the reality of War, how everything smelled rotten and how everything WAS rotten from the start. How empirelism is pure bullshit to get advantage and get what WE want, instead of what’s fair nor just, how it affects a country and its youth. And how I didn’t enjoy the fact that Lucas and Robin are back together, I mean girl deserves better than a lackey willing to morph like Dito at her command, seriously. NO FUCKING JOKE.

“To me, if you believe in God, you’re not obligated to have a moral code. The responsibility’s off your shoulders because you expect him to enforce morality for all. But if you believe there is no God, then you, the individual, are obligated to be moral, because no one else is going to do the job for you. And if no one’s moral, humanity and civilization collapse. So the individual must carry the responsibility to be moral on his shoulders. That’s why I can’t kill another human being. It is my responsibility to live a moral life, and to adhere to it because I can’t expect anyone else to do it for me.”
“It is said that you should never love anything that cannot love you back, (…).”
“Like most kids, deep down Lucas wanted his father’s approval.”
“How can one person know so little about his own family? Is it because such things aren’t spoken about until there’s a reason?”
“(…), less than two months ago, I was almost annoyed that after graduating high school, life suddenly felt so serious, but now I realize that life feels serious because it is serious.”

RLAM: #144

Good morning, peeps.

So it’s about to be 2am and I’m awake writting this post since I know tomorrow I must dedicate myself to reading a new book, and perhaps also helping my 11-year-old brother to do some homework, and maybe keep doing my research on my Tesina (the baby thesis). So, yeah, this week I manage to read twelve books, yeah, I took advantage of my last free week since I’ve already started a new cycle at University which had me going through emotions that got handled via Netflix’s Elite S. 2, Derry Girls S. 1 and 2, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Pt. 2 and the expectation I feel for the new season of AHS about to come out. So, yeah, here they are: the lovely bunch.

First I read Bad Girls with Perfect Faces by Lynn Weingarten.

BAD GIRLS WITH PERFECT FACES

Sasha has waited patiently for her turn, she has been there for Xavier no matter how many times he let his heart be broken again by his eternal ex, she was a shoulder to cry on and a bff to neglect. But she did never let that define her, she’s confident but in love with a blind hot dummy. And just as she was ready to tell him about her feelings, there he goes again going back to that messy cheat like a pup. Sasha has had it, and this time she will prove for the last time that Ivy is not worthy by catfishing her into cheating AGAIN. Let’s hope Xavier is awake to face reality and accept her good intentions…

** spoiler alert ** DAMN, I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.

So I’m giving this one 4.5 stars since I actually enjoyed it, however it wasn’t perfect. It lacked that kind of closure, idk, there was something missing. Though, I won’t deny how fantastically sketchy all these theories of who killed the bitch were, I mean I was not expecting that neither that fucked-up agreement in the end, I mean I knew there was no way out of this madness without some terrible unforgettable lies but still. In other news, this Xavier guy was so lame, I mean I get that oh he’s an emotional guy that loves love but dude, he was too much to fucking handle! I mean Sasha deserved better than that indecisive amorous mess he was, I mean he actually needed counseling coming not only from a psychologist but by his friends too, he needed to real though love. And dude, Ivy was reminding of Fanny Casteel, she was so trashy, not sexually liberated or a free-will lover, she was just mean mean trashy, ugh. And I must admit that I was attracted by psycho Gwen, I mean she was a complex interesting character that I wouldn’t mind get her pov quite more often, I mean if there were a novella of her background and future I wouldn’t mind reading her mentally unstable memoirs. 😬

Next book I read was This Lie Will Kill You by Chelsea Pitcher.

THIS LIE WILL KILL YOU

A group of teens is set up to discover a truth out of their own web of lies. Last year they screwed someone up badly, but only one of them fucked that innocent so bad it ended up as a burned corpse. All of them are to blame and all of them must confess into their actions or it will be too late and their worst fears will takeover for good like they did to others before.

** spoiler alert ** IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN THE BEST BOOK EVER, BUT IT WAS WORTH READING.

Before reading I did read a couple reviews, no-spoilery ones but still I mean my expectations were low, then I came to remember that many times it has happened that I end up loving those bullied books nobody seems to bare. I definitely didn’t love it, since the story and characters had their flaws, and even though I really enjoyed that little love story involving Shane and Ruby however it was too meant to be, you know, too fairy tale-like, too precious to be realistic just like her first encounter with Parker, I mean it looked like something of a telenovela or something that anti-climactic. Then there was the fact the killer was too fucking obvious, though I wasn’t expecting that Ruby twist. I still hate loathe despise want to murder slowly fucking Parker, I feel bad for dumb Brett and I couldn’t care less about Gavin and Juniper. There I said it.

Third one was Watch You Burn by Amanda Searcy.

watch you burn

Jenny is one of those people who just want to watch the world burn. Or a city burn, or a house, or even a single match. A flame will give her peace for a thousand days, but now she has gone too far right when she was ready to start over with her dad in a new town. Her old ways weren’t controlled but easily hidden and now there’s a dead body on the loose and everything is pointing her as the guilty one.

** spoiler alert ** IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN THE BEST BOOK EVER, BUT IT WAS WORTH READING.

Before reading I did read a couple reviews, no-spoilery ones but still I mean my expectations were low, then I came to remember that many times it has happened that I end up loving those bullied books nobody seems to bare. I definitely didn’t love it, since the story and characters had their flaws, and even though I really enjoyed that little love story involving Shane and Ruby however it was too meant to be, you know, too fairy tale-like, too precious to be realistic just like her first encounter with Parker, I mean it looked like something of a telenovela or something that anti-climactic. Then there was the fact the killer was too fucking obvious, though I wasn’t expecting that Ruby twist. I still hate loathe despise want to murder slowly fucking Parker, I feel bad for dumb Brett and I couldn’t care less about Gavin and Juniper. There I said it.

Then I read How to Hang a Witch by Adriana Mather, the first one in the duology of the same name.

how to hang a witch

Samantha Mather never knew she had a connection to Salem before she moved to her grandma’s house when her father stays in a coma. She knew her ancestor was to blame for some of the witch trials but she wasn’t aware people cared about it that much, specially in her new school where the descendants of the powerful dead witches rule the school and are ready to not only ostracise her but end her line for good.

** spoiler alert ** IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE READ GREAT YA, I MEAN IT. THIS IS IT!

Venturing to this, again I didn’t remember its premise and I was blindsighted to first reading, then I read the protagonist was sarcastic in the first line of it and I was inmediately on board, I mean I needed to experience that. After that it was a full ride, filled with its ups and downs like any other book, but with the uniqueness of YA meets supernatural elements. I mean it’s like one was transported to this place unharmed by logic that totally buys this whole witches thing, I mean their popular girls are totally in line to become the Next Supreme because of their wardrobe choices and their whole bitch self. I wanted to know them, and for moments I was like our Samantha must be a witch, to make sense all this curse thing. Then I was all for loving the ghost, I mean I’ve seen worst love interests, so no problem right there, he was nice and went to Europe to shop some groceries for their floor picnic, tell me if that’s not meaningful! Anyways, when it came to finding out who this big bad guy was, my money was always on Vivian, I mean pretty obvious cuz she was just your regular wicked stepmother, manhandling her stepdaughter and getting cosy with other men while her husband was in a coma; then I started suspecting Mrs. Merryweather, I mean that merry woman was too nice, too kindhearted and she knew her way on potion making, she knew Elijah’s name, that was unsettling but then it wasn’t her so… yeah, it would have been a meaner villain but I take Vivian since she actually came to care for Sam and her last words humanize her, making her more interesting and such a complex character. Can’t wait to get my hands on the next one.

Fifth one I read was Girl, interrupted by Susanna Kaysen.

girl interrupted

Right in the 60s, Susanna narrates us how her young life became something else the moment she was coerced to get herself into an asylum for the mentally unstable. She’ll see the good in sharing adventures and laughs with friends like her, and she’ll also see how she might have been nuts but not entirely, not like some creatures luring in their minds like monsters to their own selves.

** spoiler alert ** IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE READ GREAT YA, I MEAN IT. THIS IS IT!

Venturing to this, again I didn’t remember its premise and I was blindsighted to first reading, then I read the protagonist was sarcastic in the first line of it and I was inmediately on board, I mean I needed to experience that. After that it was a full ride, filled with its ups and downs like any other book, but with the uniqueness of YA meets supernatural elements. I mean it’s like one was transported to this place unharmed by logic that totally buys this whole witches thing, I mean their popular girls are totally in line to become the Next Supreme because of their wardrobe choices and their whole bitch self. I wanted to know them, and for moments I was like our Samantha must be a witch, to make sense all this curse thing. Then I was all for loving the ghost, I mean I’ve seen worst love interests, so no problem right there, he was nice and went to Europe to shop some groceries for their floor picnic, tell me if that’s not meaningful! Anyways, when it came to finding out who this big bad guy was, my money was always on Vivian, I mean pretty obvious cuz she was just your regular wicked stepmother, manhandling her stepdaughter and getting cosy with other men while her husband was in a coma; then I started suspecting Mrs. Merryweather, I mean that merry woman was too nice, too kindhearted and she knew her way on potion making, she knew Elijah’s name, that was unsettling but then it wasn’t her so… yeah, it would have been a meaner villain but I take Vivian since she actually came to care for Sam and her last words humanize her, making her more interesting and such a complex character. Can’t wait to get my hands on the next one.

Seventh book I read was Romanov by Nadine Brandes.

romanov

Anastasia is no longer a Royal Duchess of Russia, her family is no longer safe from dead, her brother is getting weaker by the second, her sisters are becoming too comfortable with their state of hostages, and the clock is ticking. She knows they’ll be killed unless she manages to open a magic doll that’s destined to protect the Romanov bloodline from any harm. But will it be too late once their captors get bored of hosting them?

WELL, WOW. NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO SAY THIS WASN’T FANTASTIC, CUZ I WAS!

Damn, where do I start? How marvellousl written this was, I mean one could simply emphatized with the Romanov, one could feel like them Bolsheviks, trying to cope with the fact they were gonna perish, I mean those parts when July was getting closer and one just couldn’t do much than just stare at their ignorance met with acceptance, of their fates. And the traumatic event itself made me even more aware of the inmense brutality of their deaths, I mean I never once watched Anastasia so I only had little historical background we all have, I knew about that terrible basement but still it was hard to watch. The heartache, and deshumanization that this Anastasia felt was undeniable. The pain was real, I mean my first tear was for Maria’s broken heart and that was only the beginning, then came the ache of Zash “betrayal”, then was obvi the justifiable despair Nastya felt over having to choose the right thing to do (what her papa would have wanted). I liked those moments alone, cuz it gave the book a human relatable factor instead of just having the magic to marvel us away, pretty correct way of making me keep reading; props for that.
“The more starved we were of kindness, the more we clung to any crumb of it.”
“Those who cannot laugh cannot properly live.”
“A kind word turns away wrath.”
Those words will remain within me.

After that I read The Diary of a Teenage Girl: An Account in Words and Pictures by Phoebe Gloeckner.

The Diary of a Teenage Girl An Account in Words and Pictures

Minnie nerve thought herself as an attractive young girl, but her life instantly changes the moment she decides to screw her mother’s boyfriend. It’s the 70s, the sexual liberation is in the air, and being a 15 year old is not a excuse to not make terrible, raw and just terrifyingly unforgettable mistakes.

ONCE YOU KNOW ITS RAW, THAT BECOMES UNIMPORTANT.

I’ve seen many comments, not giving a fuck about the story but the profanity, use of nudity and depiction of sexual/substance abuse; and I’m glad I’m not part of that bunch. I was well aware of its content so I wasn’t looking for the provocative comics, but for the title itself, the story of a young girl in the 70s, a girl with urges, depression, all over the place emotions, drugs, naivety and such a lonely heart trying to feel loved and safe. With Minnie’s story we weren’t sugar coated but we saw person after person taking advantage of her need of belonging, of her need to feel complete, of her adolescent been. We saw how any girl in that environment could take bad decisions with bad guidance, from a mother who never gave a damn, from a former stepfather who lied to shelter himself from his ugliness, from her mom’s boyfriend who only used her never sheltering her from his ugliness, from equally naive friends, from older figures that were supposed to look after her wellbeing, from authorities who kept blaming her as she was not a child still, from the times she lived in. We saw how she had to get herself out and see it as it was, that she had to be in charge of her wellbeing and detox her demons and questions, to see that she was better, that behind the lies there’s some truth, that she was better than all of them. It left me with that feeling, that even after all the blows life throws at you, while you expect some salvation, a hero to rescue you from a loveless existence, you’re given what you asked: a hero in the shape of yourself to finally get the love you need, the love for yourself. At least, that’s how I saw it, from more than just a tainted window with morbidity for nakedness, I saw a girl like any other who finally felt loved

The nineth book I read was The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw.

The wicked deep

Penny Talbot has lived in Sparrow her entire life, her mom did the same and all them generations before. She knows there’s something more than just a couple witch trials in the town’s memory but the non.stop revenge three sister swore they would get every summer for their unfair murders. Now, when Penny gets too close with a tourist guy looking for a job in her house, she knows she might enter in a heartache that will never end, just like when… well, her father vanished.

** spoiler alert ** INTERESTING, ETHEREAL KIND OF SOOTHING ROMANCE.

I’m quite torn on this, I mean it was a good read, nobody can deny that. Beautifully written, well structured with expected yet unbelievable twists and turns. An unreliable surreal narrator and supernatural forces working for murder in an almost fantastic land in the middle of the Pacific. Pretty good, but I had an issue that has me annoyed, about poor little old Penny. I mean that poot girl was forced to kill her father and now doesn’t remember, was forced to have sex with Bo, and kill boys to satisfy the hunger of selfish Hazel. That girl was not consenting… That’s disturbing next to the fact Bo still loves the greedy ghost who hasn’t gone back to Owen cuz she suddenly “belongs there”, I’m not OK with that. Penny deserves better, she, her mom and dad, even Rose and easy Bo deserve better than still be a pawn in Hazel’s game. I’m still bitter about it. 😒

Later I read See All the Stars by Kit Frick.

see all the stars

There used to be four girls. Four popular lovely girls, handled by their leader like Charles Manson did with his Family. Then there were three, since one of them got a boyfriend. Now they are no longer one, and Ellory just wants to move on, forget the pain and keep going with the futur we wanted for herself before all the madness took over her mind and her heart. But it won’t be easy, because constant reminders keep appearing in the shape of notes hidden inside her locker telling her the truth over and over again.

STARTING TO READ THIS, I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WOULD GIVE IT THREE TO FOUR STARS.

I totally knew what was this secrecy thing, I mean the moment it was compared to We Were Liars, you know the wicked bitch in the west was gone for good and a product of Ellory’s psyche, I even figured out easilg that the bitch was betraying her hard on that twisted affair (which was so like Dangerous Girls😲) so I had it all figures out but the actual act of that day where the passing took place, I needed to know was the bitch murdered or what the fuck happened so I kept reading. I mean if even you figured everything important out, and you keep reading that must mean the story is damn good as the writing style (props to Kit, whom I thought was a guy but now I know is a woman 😜), I mean I was so into cuz even though I sided with the more visceral and raw sense of betrayal/justifiable anger side of Ellory, not so much on the I forgive you but I came to get it😒… Somehow, I mean the bitch was dead in a minute and it wasn’t a murder but still, it was not your fault but now she’s gone and she did got you away from that cowardly dog (sorry for the analogy ‘Courage’ 🐶) so there’s that but there’s also the betrayal and ache, and we have the whole move on arch too therefore it’s quite complicated but I was glad Kit gave her a new spin in that three months later part, she wasn’t defined by the ridiculous expiratory emails nor the guilt nor her depression, she actually did moved on for herself and her precious art. Sidenote: Ellory has become part of an elite group know as “The characters I want to shelter at all cost”. 😊

The eleventh book I read was Emergency Contact by Mary H. K. Choi.

emergency contact

Penny wanted to scape her mom, her life, her bad memories and her obsolete town. Now she’s in New York going to College, ready to become an author and just live in her new favorite place. Sam is stuck, but is ok with it, he’s paying his own tuition to become a documentary director while working full-time on a coffee shop for almost free plus getting some stable accomodation, of course. He just wants to move on when all his life comes to a point of extreme stress and is forced to accept an Emergency Contact, who happens to be a new young girl with a quirky personality and a friendly face.

** spoiler alert ** I FUCKING LOVED IT!

I just finished reading and all I have to say is how incredible it turned out to be, I mean I thought it would be a ridiculous little contemporary, nothing out of the ordinary of boy meets girl and they become friends and slowly something more. But I was so wrong, I mean it did had that but the emotional aspect, each of them had shit thrown into their lives and it was so fucking relatable I’m about to cry. I mean I felt so represented when it came to darling Penny, she was so quirky and just plain me when it comes to being too prepared to die when you’re no dying at all. Yeah, I’m that girl. She’s part of my list of characters to protect, damn that backstory that explained the lack of trust he held towards her mom, it’s understandable and I’m happy they have managed to get ok. In other news, even though Sam was the dream guy of every millenial (kinda what every girl wants *cliché*), he was more than just that, I mean the guy had doubts about his own appearance and his own worth for his fucking mom and that every adult he’d come accross as a young guy had given his dreams the finger. But he found a safe nest when it came to protective momma bear type Penny, and she’s relaxed and just sweer when she’s with him. So fucking cute; besides the characters (all of them) were lovely constructed I mean I can surely imagine those people as real, not ulterior motive kinda of people, you know. And the writing was so easy-going, I loved it! I hope I get to read more about this author, if she has Penny’s Korean couple story there I’d be granted to read it, really interesting takeout.
Here are some quotes, I enjoyed or that stayed whithin my heart for a while:
“Pathetic outcasts had standards too.”
“At least there was coffee. Reliable, delicious, life-giving coffee.”
“(…), she felt as if saying makeup names out loud set women’s rights back several decades.”
“Penny despised the world ‘adorable’. It was trivializing.”
“She was Instagram famous in the way that some girls just are. As if they were designed to indiscriminately detonate insecurities in other women.”
“(…) she felt destined to make something that made someone else feel how she did when she read it.”
“That night Penny read Maus twice and cried. She knew then that she had to become a writer.”
“What separated Penny from Amber was that anybody could smell Amber’s desperation. To Penny that was far more pathetic than simply being invisible. Penny would stop trying. Instead she’d spend time preparing for her future, living in books until the exciting part of her life would begin.”
“A female protagonist made the stories more inspiring than voyeouristic. It was so much fun to write about who you could be.”
“A character that scares you is worth exploring.”
“Hell really was other people.”
“It’s never too late for Pringles”
“Writers are sensitive”
“She hadn’t known he wore glasses and Penny was crazy about glasses as a thing. They were so much better than contacts. Why touch your own eyeballs when you could accessorize your face?”
“Hiding was not a coping mechanism. It was delusional.”
“Loving someone was traumatizing. You never knew what would happen to them out there in the world. Everything precious was also vulnerable.”
“To be the hero, you had to decide it was you”
“’Everything doesn’t have to be a crisis, Penny,’ he said.”

Then there was The Truth Behind the Lies by Amanda Searcy.

THE TRUTH BENEATH THE LIE

Kayla and Betsy are in a mess. Kayla jugles her job with her unstable newly sober mother and the fact that if her mother hadn’t gain her rights over her daughter back, Kayla could still pretend she had a family with her foster mom, she could have been happy and with a bright future but now she just wants to be over with it. Betsy needs to forget and do her duty, startover in a new state with her giggly mother and her dark toned aptitute as she struggles with the memories of a twisted past mistake.

DAMN, ALL I CAN SAY IS DAMN!.

So in the beginning I wasn’t sure and actually didn’t remember why I had picked this book, I could recall the synopsis nor its genre, I mean I was clueless reading this kinda mysterious yet dull dual POV thing until I figure out pretty fucking quickly that both these girls were the same person and that one was the past and other the present, I mean I was thinking that obvi Jordan was the killer she found out and now he’s stalking her so she had to runaway with Marie, but no turns out Jordan was messed up and the FBI too, and Elton, and she had to vanish with her actual mom. But the moments that finally had me sick to my stomach and truly afraid were that in which the FBI were sons of bitches, sick fucking bastards towards a seventeen year old girl, I mean how much of a shithead can you be threatening a teen?! And also, the whole Jordan being with the Koi, an a bit Yakuza, I mean I was like I’m off, that shit’s just crazy terrifying, those are nightmare inducing criminal bands I mean god! So… Yeah, I enjoyed reading it and now I feel completely safe, I mean I love when an author manages to transport the reader into the protagonist’s state of mind into their depression, seclusion, paranoia and heartbreak, I mean one is left speechless I mean look at me at almost four am finishing this. Goals.

Finally I read The Merciless by Danielle Vega, the first one in the series of the same name.

the merciless

Sofia just wanted a fresh start after being bullied to her worst state, so when popular girls offer her a friendly hand of love and Christian kindness, she takes it without questions. Soon she’ll come to realise these girls aren’t simple pretty preppy Jesus freaks but could turn her into a murderer if she follows their advices and lies. Will she be able to tell wrong from good or perhaps it’s just too late for her?

DAAAAMNN!!!

So, Danielle Vega always manages to screw with my mind, my fears and my fucking nerves when it comes to this crazy stories, I mean she’s good at what she does, the creativeness is 100% worthy, however I do have one complain: What the hell with Sofie trusting them strangers so easily, I mean I was a teen once, so I know what’s to be impressionable by popular girls and their fantasy perfect world, right? But there’s a thick line between luck and plain fucked up baptism, I mean as soon as she got that I thought she was gonna call them freaks and run the hell away from them sick girls. Seriously, but she still went along a didn’t discuss how messed up their nature was, she’s just too damn dumb or what? When it came to other things, like the gore nature, the twist, the murder and supernatural aspects, I was pleased I mean it was definetely no the Exorcist meets Mean Girls, but the fucking Evil Dead meets Jawbreaker, no joke. Now I’ll go have some nightmares, thanks a lot Danielle, you always manage to ruin my good night sleep with your creepy writting.