RLAM: #145

Hi, y’all.

So it’s the middle of the afternoon as I’m writing this/watching reruns from ‘Law and Order: SVU’, and I just realised I read like 9 books these two last weeks as I dealt with my knee being so injured and having to climb some stairs a couple of times to get to resolve my midterm exams on Research Methodology and English Translation, as  my 11 year old students didn’t memorize their number for the Talent Show so I had to make some last hour changes to help us present something for next Saturday, wish me luck. Anyways, my country has gone through some turmoil, that’s actually good for our future, our democracy and economy, so yeah; I’m in a good mood but I wished I had read more books.

First one I read was the stand-alone ‘The Haunted‘ by never stopping scary af Danielle Vega.

the haunted

Hendricks has some shady past but not to deserve a piece of hell. Specially the one inhabiting her new house. She’ll come to realise that this is not some PTSD, but a real dark thing trying to kill everyone she loves as it has done for the past years over a deadly curse hunting through the lies and hurt of the town’s darkest times.

SOOO IT WAS OK.

You know how I hate insta-love when it is so convenient, your know. I mean I saw the process of Hendricks getting closer to Eddie and the fact he was a decent guy, but I wish we got to know him more before spitting the big L word right before the big end. Just as I wanted that, I also wished we had gotten perhaps Margaret’s side of the story, I mean we could have easily sacrificed her instead of her children, or find a way to send those bitches ghosts back to hell cuz she was their victim until she stopped their shit for good and I can’t blame her for it. No need to say the creativity was good, not humongous like with other previous works from Danielle Vega, the queen of horror of the 21st century as I like to refer to her, but it was worth the reading for the better character development though as with Maggie I would’ve loved to hear more about Hendricks and her sucky relationship with Grayson or more about the background characters that were left scarred for life after the house was destroyed. I just wish, this story would continue since with the right character development and backstories, it could have been a fantastic series worthy of their own tv adaptation, no doubt.
“Now everything was so different, but that didn’t mean she didn’t miss her old life. Connor got it right. It felt like losing a limb. The ache of it kept her up sometimes.”

Next I read ‘These Witches Don’t Burn‘, book 1 in the new series of the same name by Isabel Sterling.

These Witches Don't Burn

Hannah is a witch, not a mean wicked girl in school, nor a goth nutcase. No, she’s a real witch, with a coven and powers and deadly enemies. But she’s still a teen girl, dealing with her ex-girlfriend that continues insisting that she’s not guilty for their breakup, as trying to move on with a cute ballerina with a past as twisted as her own. Oh, and she also has to deal with the fact some dick or a pretty dangerous witch is trying to scared her and risk the safety of her coven, over exposure and death.

** spoiler alert ** I TOTALLY WROTE AN ENTRY AT 3AM AND IT NEVER SAVED, SO HERE I AM TRYING TO UPLOAD A NEW ONE AGAIN SINCE GOODREADS KEPT REDIRECTING ME TO USELESS BLANK PAGES.
Anyways, what can I say? This one I got wrong, I mean I thought it would be lame for the first discovery of who did that raccoon thing, cuz well, too effing obvious to start but then the mystery kept growing and I grew even more attached to these characters and their backgrounds. I mean Hannah is a leader when it comes to overcoming her ex, as her own independence. She’s the fucking boss and I love her humanity, I mean we’re capable of everything when it comes to avenge our family or those that matter to us and no hunter would be enough to contain her spirit, with every minute that passes she grows even more on me. BTW, I loved how the whole lgbtq topic was just morphed to the plot, I love how it keeps getting more accepted and embraced with every page that goes by, as it gets humanized since Veronica was no angel and had def an aptitute I just wanted to kick out of her, I mean that girl was a whinny brat! In other news, I so knew Morgan and Evan’s secret, I mean I just knew one of them was the Hunter bitch, it was obvious but it became when he blushed the moment Han talked about Gem’s injuries, I was like “that ain’t a crush but guilt and fear of discussing the topic with your target!”. Also, I wanted to know more about the Three Sisters’ lore, because every side has their own version of history therefore I’d like to know about them Blood Witches lore too, props on Isabel Sterling for getting me interested and for the upcoming sequel, as well props to the cover designer since it was captivating, that’s truly what got me to get this book so.
“Being suspicious of everyone is exhausting.”

Third I read the disturbingly smart stand-alone, known as ‘Bunny‘ by Mona Awad.

Bunny

Samantha Heather Mackey never had anything for herself since her mom died and her dad run to stay out of jail, but she’s had some hopes. She wants to be acknoledge for her writting skills in college, but They are always getting the spotlight, They and their cutesy nicknames of Bunny always get the praising from her new teacher and They look so happy to belong somewhere, to have everything she’s ever shamelessly wanted. But this year is differnt, They want her to be Bunny, They want to see what she’s made of, and They will get her.

ONE OF THE MOST CREATIVE AND PROVOKING BOOKS I’VE READ THIS YEAR. IF NOT, EVER.

I think of this as a mix between Us, Get Out and Mother, meets an essay on the author’s psyche. It’s disturbing to the point you wonder what the heck is this all about, like you don’t know what’s real anymore. It’s filled with vulnerability, an emotional side that made me understand myself through the character of Samantha, that need of approval and validation by a mysterious clique, the ache for company even for that you created only to stop feeling miserable, to avoid getting depressed and the fresh breath of air/heartbreak that is to face our own demons. Now, let’s talk spoilers, I was def not expecting those twists, props to the author even though the choice of words we’re a bit to complex to fully understand them, but apart from that they explained it all pretty well. 👏

Then I ventured through the pages of the eye opening tale of ‘When the Truth Unravels‘ by RuthAnne Snow.

When the Truth Unravels

Last month, Elin tried to kill herself but nobody made questions, no even her best friends, and nobody who knows of this thing knows exactly why. They kept living, trying to get her back to the world of the ‘living’ as well as dealing with their own dramas. And in their last attempt to achieve their goals, they all go together to their last prom. Soon it becomes a hunting night as Elin has runaway and again nobody knows why, but the clock is ticking and their friend might want to give them answers.

** spoiler alert ** WHEN I STARTED READING I WAS GONNA GIVE IT TWO STARS ONLY.

I must admit that there were lines in the begining and personalities that just weren’t going anywhere positive in the first 20 pages, I mean first I liked Jenna a bit cuz well, she’s a control freak as I am but then she was also this sucky friend so I totally put her in the box of annoying selfish people along with Ket, Teddy. And it took me four POV chapters of Rosie to feel even more related to her way of being, as awkward and as suspecting as her. There’s where it started to get interesting, then the whole suicids attempt by Elin got me figuring out that A she had depression or B she was bi-polar, and definitely her parents were the worst denying her reality, I mean I didn’t like Jen neither by then over her being as insensitive to her friends mental state as Ket, trying to not acknowledge the mammoth in the room. *SPOILERS* By the time of the big reveal, the whole OCD finding the almost death body of Elin, I got it. I got why she avoided her, how come she kept that secret despite her ways, why she actually is such a fucking good friend that had me crying out of being thankful. Then I cried because how related I ended up feeling to Elin, I mean I don’t have that condition but I’ve suffered from depression to the point I needed thosd pills, twice since I just couldn’t stop crying to the point I no longed knew why, I understood what it was to feel helpless and betrayed by your brain’s chemistry, to just think about death as a way out of all that inexplicable mysery, to just want everything to go back to normal so we will stop experiencing this awful feeling. I cried with Elin and felt glad she had such loyal friends with her, how it was just a matter of getting words from them, words of encouragement to help her heal and try to achieve her life back, controlling her medication and giving her emltional support. It made me realise how lucky we are to have that special friend who becomes our rock, that one we go when we feel like we’re drowning, an almost sister that helps us carrying on our path. 😊 Anyways, nice book, the writing was not hard at all to understand and while reading I felt like I was in an unboxing figuring out every character’s growth through this experience, so props to you RuthAnne, keep doing what you do. 👌👌👏

Fifth I read the YA mystery full of anxiety story known as ‘All Eyes on Us‘ by Kit Frick.

All Eyes on Us

Carter Shaw is a golden boy, a cheating golden boy. Everybody knows it, his girlfriend Amanda knows it but she’s too invested in their relationship and the fact she doesn’t know any better way to get the economic stability she so desperately needs, makes her face the text message threats that are slowly venturing through her better judgement into doing what this stalker wants her to. While Carter’s other girl, is still recovering from her last conversion therapy camp and is using him as her beard, when suddenly her plan to stay with him until she turns 18 shatters as she too receives some stalking texts threatening to break her sanity worst than that religious camp.

** spoiler alert ** I NEVER THOUGHT THAT A MYSTERY BOOK COULD BE SUCH A COMING-OF-AGE.

I found a soft space in my heart that didn’t come out of sharing some aspects of myself with the main characters, it wasn’t we were alike but that somehow I became protective of their well-being, I mean these girls truly grew on me and their terrible parents help me want to be their mother. Yeah, their messed up toxic environments made me, a 23 year old university student/ESL teacher who wants no children of her own in the future, want to care for them cuz I’m sure I would have done a better job than their shitty parents, there’s no denying that. So let’s start with the sketchy situation: their relationship with the dickhead that will forever be known as Carter the slut Shaw, no kidding I hate that patronizing psycho bitch. I mean like a 69% of my notes were about how much of a piece of shit he was and how better the world would be with a dick less to screw girls’ hearts. In other news, I’d heard about conversion ‘therapy’, I knew it would be messed up so I was reluctant to venture myself to that isolated and just miserable state when I was emotional myself, but I guess I grew some courage and went on reading those flashbacks while the anxiety became a huge blob in my heart and mind just crying about how empty one must feel being there, I wanted to shake the fanatism away from Rosalie’s parents so badly so they could see their valuable daughter, see how precious she was since after all that disgusting and cruel things they made her go through she still believed in God and loved them both, they were lucky she never reported that shit as torture. Anyways, I’m happy that even after all that shit, they got to be exactly were they can be truly happy. Now, about the whole who the fuck Private is… Carter was between my crazy theories, I was like what if that dick is doing it all himself? The thought cross my mind but I never gave it more importance, my guesses were obvi Ben or Adele (who the f screws your bff’s break ex?!), I also considered Pau (sorry, girl) and her brother, until David came on and I was like please, not him, he’s hot and could have something with Amanda don’t turn him into a creepy stalker. And it wasn’t him. It was bitch abusive Carter all along trying to be a dick like always, I would have shot him no matter what, no joke. He had it coming.
In other news, the writting was good and the topic was well-handled, I enjoyed its pace and the whole emotional state it left me. PROPS TO KIT.
Ps: Amanda’s mom made me remember Jillian from VC Andrews’ Web of Lies, those ungodly women had my wrath on point.

Later I went by the creative tale of ‘The Apocalypse of Elena Mendoza‘ by Shaun David Hutchinson.

The Apocalypse of Elena Mendoza

Elena Mendoza was always the odd one out, ever since birth. She was considered a miracle child, having been born out of an inmaculate conception, yeah that exists. And having the ability, or curse to hear the voices of certain innanimate objects like the Starbucks mermaid who keeps telling her to save others since the end of the world is coming, she never believed them up until her crush got shot in front of her and Elena literally healed her wounds as the shooter was abducted by a light coming from heaven… Now she’s starting to consider what the mermaid told her, could it be real or maybe she’s just mental?

I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD’VE LIKED IT THIS MUCH.

Elena Mendoza turned out to be one of those characters that feels like me, the awkward sarcasm, the hopeless yet coward crushes and the belief I know it all but actually know shit less than everyone else, besides the unability of making choices on my own without having anyone to blame later if they go wrong. I got a reflection that stick with me from her, that everyone deserved to make their choices and that could ruin us or save us, however those choices were still our right, therefore we should use them to stop blaming others for our own shit or blessings. IDK, but I liked that, I think it might have changed a little the way I normally handle things on my own. Anyways, good writting, I laughed and it was one of the most creative storylines I’ve read in a long time, so props to Shaun right there. For moments, I felt like I was reading a living entertaining non-stop TED TALK or perhaps some reality check by Dr. Drew, that made me reconsider many things, it mostly blew my mind. While I’d also like to share my shipping feelings towards Elena and Fadil, I mean they could have made a great couple, it’s one of those OTPs you say are cannon but would never happen irl, so yeah I got that vibe from them, idk. Anyways, good read, no complains, i’d even recommend it.
Here are some of my fav quotes:
“Everyone reacts differently to extreme situations. (…) I reacted by turning into a sarcastic robot. I felt flat and emotionless. Like everything had happened to some other version of me and the event was a movie I’d watched, instead of my life.”
“That’s how crushes work. They’re not based in reality. If they were, we wouldn’t call them crushes because we wouldn’t wind up crushed by the inevitable truth of the person.”
“I didn’t know many things for certain, which bothered the hell out of me. I liked certainty.”
“(…) the dead never truly die.”
“Our free will and ability to choose is ultimately what makes us the dumbest intelligent species on the planet.”

Seventh I read ‘Wildcard‘ by Marie Lu, book 2 in the Warcross duology.

Wildcard

After discovering the truth, nothing can remain the same. Emika doesn’t trust herself with Hideo, and now Zero is demanding her to work with him to stop him… Oh, and there’s the little detail that Zero is the long lost brother of Hideo, who doesn’t seem to have any linking feeling towards the game maker. But if Emika thought this was the last mystery she unvoluntarily solved… Well, perhaps she should reconsider, as she becomes a walking target for her foes.

** spoiler alert ** I ACTUALLY DIDN’T EXPECT TO LIKE IT THAT MUCH.

I mean I know that everything Marie Lu touches turns into gold but still, I mean I wasn’t getting much from Warcross, the whole interest of Emika in Hideo. I wasn’t interested, he seemed to plain for me, but whateves; and oh the entire logic of the game and process, IDK but I needed a little more slow explanation of it. Maybe I was slow myself, but those were my complaints, however, I managed to get this one better somehow, despite forgetting how these characters looked (the Phoenix team, our crew). I was inmediately interested in the whol Zero plot, his thinking and what the hell happened to Sazuke to turn him into Zero. There’s no need for me to explain my shock when we discoverd the whole truth about this one, and I found myself in need of a novella (or another book) based on the path of Zero and the silver-hair girl (I just read it and can’t remember her name!), I mean I just need it. Please, Marie Lu? Pretty please. Anyways, the plot was great, I wanted to finish it to find out how things could get ok to make things right in the end, btw I like Tremaine and Roshan, I mean they’re cute af. I still do not support the thing of Emika with Hideo, I don’t like him, I think he’s pretty fucking toxic and hideous. Don’t blame me for not liking him, he ain’t no Day, he might have a big brain but not enough for me to be interested in him that way. Emika, gurl, you can do better than Mr. Control freak. Sorry not sorry.

After that I navigated through the honest sea of ‘Hold Still‘ by Nina LaCour.

Hold Still

Caitlin doesn’t know why Ingrid did it, she never noticed her being sad or bullied, and all she knows is that her best friend is gone for good. Now she’ll have to relieve Ingrid’s journey through adolescence via her diary, to try to figure out what triggered her and perhaps get a way out of this depressive state to allow herself to move on, to keep living.

SO WOW, THAT WAS SURPRISING.

I’ll admit that when I started reading I wasn’t on it, IDK, I was half afraid I was gonna discover some serious depressing things that I was frankly not in the mood for, also I know that first parts are supposed to represent her utter depression but I was just bored, I know that’s not a deep thought but I was like not getting any hint of personality from her, and I know that was the point so I’m pointing out my initial thoughts. Then I gave it a lasting go. I made no mistake choosing this little coming-of-age. We experienced what is like to loose a friend when one just knows nothing that could be wrong with that person, I mean friends are supposed to know it all about their bffs, even their inner pains, specially those. So once it happens guilt hits us hard and depression is right around the corner. I also felt that Caitlin was so relatable, she found out that even though she’s never gonna forget about her bff, she’s allowed to live and enjoy herlself, her future and that nobody is the guilty one in situations like this one. Nice writing Nina, nicely done.

”Even though we wanted to go, we just couldn’t bring ourselves to walk into Henry’s house, see everyone already talking to people, already settled and gathered into little exclusive groups, and watch them look up at us and wonder why we were there.”
“As a teacher, you dream of finding the perfect student, the most promising student. (…) It’s partially selfish, really. We, as teachers, like to think that we play an integral role in our students’ development. We dream of being the one teacher that people remember all their lives, the one who inspired them to achieve great things.”
“I am sad. I am sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that I can’t get away from it. Not ever. There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We’d be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think ‘it will be okay if it can just be like this forever’ but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever.”
“’Life is shit,’ he tells me. I not. ‘Maybe.’ (…) ‘But not all the time,’ I say. ‘I don’t think all the time.’”

And, finally, I read a life-changing novel known ‘Words on Bathroom Walls‘ by Julia Walton.

Words on Bathroom Walls

Adam has schizophrenia and he surely knows what’s happening in his brain, when out of nowhere he sees people that aren’t there or hears some bullying voices telling him what a waste of spece he is, so he’s a regular teen suffering a mental illness and dealing with it through his sharp sarcastic mind. After a breakdown where not only was he exposed but also lost his best friend, his stepfather has found him a new school and a new beta treatment, while his mom suggested him to sea a therapist. Now he’ll meet people who’ll make him want to stay an average person, to begin questioning himself and try to hold on to pills, only to not loose those attachements he never believed he could develop again.

I SO THOUGHT I WAS GONNA FINISH THIS LATER IN THE AFTERNOON BUT WOW.

This story was so honest, funny and to a point painful. I mean I must admit that I used to be one of those people scared of those suffering of this illness, I mean I had no idea how this even worked but still I was only afraid and not even caring. But now I’m glad I got to know more, to know what is this and how people dealing with this actually are, they are like the rest of us, they’re human but they have it worse than our regular problems. They can see and hear things, and can’t help their actions and that made me incredibly sad to the point of tears, because this still had no cure nor a reliable treatment for all pacients so yeah, it was sad and just gave me a whole new perspective. These are people, not cases, they breath and laugh and watch TV.
But talking seriously about the book itself, it was so well-written I mean I seriously ventured through his mind towards those little letters and e-mails, and I was glad Julia Watson stated that he had this super good memory so he could actually remember all that he had heard and said to complement the entries. I also feel like the whole topic of parents was adressed in an honest way, how we get awfully scarred when they say something that sticks with us in a really painful way that makes us question everything we are to the point of not trusting them, but also how one simple word can fix it to the point of tears making us believe in the good things inside of us for once. It’s the power of being a parent that truly captivated me too about this novel.

“When you love somebody, you try to be better.”
“I like feeding people. It’s an easy way to make them happy, and I get a rush from the instant gratification.”
“Arguing with stupid people, knowing that you’re right, but then they say something condescending that basically means, Okay, I’m going to go because you don’t seem to understand what I’m saying, when really you do understand-you just know that they’re wrong. (…) You don’t need to concede their point. There is no point. You should be allowed to slap them because clearly they are too stupid to live.”
“It never made sense to me to worry about what happened to someone else unless I could help in some way.”
“You lose your secrets when you let people get too close. (…) It’s hard to let someone find you in all the dark and twisty places inside, (…)”
“(…) it sucks to disappoint your parents. There’s nothing more gut-wrenching than looking into their eyes and seeing that you’re not what they expected.”
“The thing about being smart is that you don’t actually need to remind people you’re smart every five seconds. It makes people want to kill you.”
“She doesn’t like people, and she definitely doesn’t like dealing with their problems on a human level.”
“(…) being old does not make you a good person. Old age is not, in itself, an admirable quality. Sometime it just means you haven’t had the sense to let anything kill you.”
“They contradict each other, like everything else in life, I guess. You’ll hear one thing that gives you hope and another thing that takes it away.”
“(…) being a parent means becoming what your children need most.”
“It’s funny how quickly you can love a person.”

RLAM: #144

Good morning, peeps.

So it’s about to be 2am and I’m awake writting this post since I know tomorrow I must dedicate myself to reading a new book, and perhaps also helping my 11-year-old brother to do some homework, and maybe keep doing my research on my Tesina (the baby thesis). So, yeah, this week I manage to read twelve books, yeah, I took advantage of my last free week since I’ve already started a new cycle at University which had me going through emotions that got handled via Netflix’s Elite S. 2, Derry Girls S. 1 and 2, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina Pt. 2 and the expectation I feel for the new season of AHS about to come out. So, yeah, here they are: the lovely bunch.

First I read Bad Girls with Perfect Faces by Lynn Weingarten.

BAD GIRLS WITH PERFECT FACES

Sasha has waited patiently for her turn, she has been there for Xavier no matter how many times he let his heart be broken again by his eternal ex, she was a shoulder to cry on and a bff to neglect. But she did never let that define her, she’s confident but in love with a blind hot dummy. And just as she was ready to tell him about her feelings, there he goes again going back to that messy cheat like a pup. Sasha has had it, and this time she will prove for the last time that Ivy is not worthy by catfishing her into cheating AGAIN. Let’s hope Xavier is awake to face reality and accept her good intentions…

** spoiler alert ** DAMN, I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT.

So I’m giving this one 4.5 stars since I actually enjoyed it, however it wasn’t perfect. It lacked that kind of closure, idk, there was something missing. Though, I won’t deny how fantastically sketchy all these theories of who killed the bitch were, I mean I was not expecting that neither that fucked-up agreement in the end, I mean I knew there was no way out of this madness without some terrible unforgettable lies but still. In other news, this Xavier guy was so lame, I mean I get that oh he’s an emotional guy that loves love but dude, he was too much to fucking handle! I mean Sasha deserved better than that indecisive amorous mess he was, I mean he actually needed counseling coming not only from a psychologist but by his friends too, he needed to real though love. And dude, Ivy was reminding of Fanny Casteel, she was so trashy, not sexually liberated or a free-will lover, she was just mean mean trashy, ugh. And I must admit that I was attracted by psycho Gwen, I mean she was a complex interesting character that I wouldn’t mind get her pov quite more often, I mean if there were a novella of her background and future I wouldn’t mind reading her mentally unstable memoirs. 😬

Next book I read was This Lie Will Kill You by Chelsea Pitcher.

THIS LIE WILL KILL YOU

A group of teens is set up to discover a truth out of their own web of lies. Last year they screwed someone up badly, but only one of them fucked that innocent so bad it ended up as a burned corpse. All of them are to blame and all of them must confess into their actions or it will be too late and their worst fears will takeover for good like they did to others before.

** spoiler alert ** IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN THE BEST BOOK EVER, BUT IT WAS WORTH READING.

Before reading I did read a couple reviews, no-spoilery ones but still I mean my expectations were low, then I came to remember that many times it has happened that I end up loving those bullied books nobody seems to bare. I definitely didn’t love it, since the story and characters had their flaws, and even though I really enjoyed that little love story involving Shane and Ruby however it was too meant to be, you know, too fairy tale-like, too precious to be realistic just like her first encounter with Parker, I mean it looked like something of a telenovela or something that anti-climactic. Then there was the fact the killer was too fucking obvious, though I wasn’t expecting that Ruby twist. I still hate loathe despise want to murder slowly fucking Parker, I feel bad for dumb Brett and I couldn’t care less about Gavin and Juniper. There I said it.

Third one was Watch You Burn by Amanda Searcy.

watch you burn

Jenny is one of those people who just want to watch the world burn. Or a city burn, or a house, or even a single match. A flame will give her peace for a thousand days, but now she has gone too far right when she was ready to start over with her dad in a new town. Her old ways weren’t controlled but easily hidden and now there’s a dead body on the loose and everything is pointing her as the guilty one.

** spoiler alert ** IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN THE BEST BOOK EVER, BUT IT WAS WORTH READING.

Before reading I did read a couple reviews, no-spoilery ones but still I mean my expectations were low, then I came to remember that many times it has happened that I end up loving those bullied books nobody seems to bare. I definitely didn’t love it, since the story and characters had their flaws, and even though I really enjoyed that little love story involving Shane and Ruby however it was too meant to be, you know, too fairy tale-like, too precious to be realistic just like her first encounter with Parker, I mean it looked like something of a telenovela or something that anti-climactic. Then there was the fact the killer was too fucking obvious, though I wasn’t expecting that Ruby twist. I still hate loathe despise want to murder slowly fucking Parker, I feel bad for dumb Brett and I couldn’t care less about Gavin and Juniper. There I said it.

Then I read How to Hang a Witch by Adriana Mather, the first one in the duology of the same name.

how to hang a witch

Samantha Mather never knew she had a connection to Salem before she moved to her grandma’s house when her father stays in a coma. She knew her ancestor was to blame for some of the witch trials but she wasn’t aware people cared about it that much, specially in her new school where the descendants of the powerful dead witches rule the school and are ready to not only ostracise her but end her line for good.

** spoiler alert ** IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE READ GREAT YA, I MEAN IT. THIS IS IT!

Venturing to this, again I didn’t remember its premise and I was blindsighted to first reading, then I read the protagonist was sarcastic in the first line of it and I was inmediately on board, I mean I needed to experience that. After that it was a full ride, filled with its ups and downs like any other book, but with the uniqueness of YA meets supernatural elements. I mean it’s like one was transported to this place unharmed by logic that totally buys this whole witches thing, I mean their popular girls are totally in line to become the Next Supreme because of their wardrobe choices and their whole bitch self. I wanted to know them, and for moments I was like our Samantha must be a witch, to make sense all this curse thing. Then I was all for loving the ghost, I mean I’ve seen worst love interests, so no problem right there, he was nice and went to Europe to shop some groceries for their floor picnic, tell me if that’s not meaningful! Anyways, when it came to finding out who this big bad guy was, my money was always on Vivian, I mean pretty obvious cuz she was just your regular wicked stepmother, manhandling her stepdaughter and getting cosy with other men while her husband was in a coma; then I started suspecting Mrs. Merryweather, I mean that merry woman was too nice, too kindhearted and she knew her way on potion making, she knew Elijah’s name, that was unsettling but then it wasn’t her so… yeah, it would have been a meaner villain but I take Vivian since she actually came to care for Sam and her last words humanize her, making her more interesting and such a complex character. Can’t wait to get my hands on the next one.

Fifth one I read was Girl, interrupted by Susanna Kaysen.

girl interrupted

Right in the 60s, Susanna narrates us how her young life became something else the moment she was coerced to get herself into an asylum for the mentally unstable. She’ll see the good in sharing adventures and laughs with friends like her, and she’ll also see how she might have been nuts but not entirely, not like some creatures luring in their minds like monsters to their own selves.

** spoiler alert ** IT HAS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE READ GREAT YA, I MEAN IT. THIS IS IT!

Venturing to this, again I didn’t remember its premise and I was blindsighted to first reading, then I read the protagonist was sarcastic in the first line of it and I was inmediately on board, I mean I needed to experience that. After that it was a full ride, filled with its ups and downs like any other book, but with the uniqueness of YA meets supernatural elements. I mean it’s like one was transported to this place unharmed by logic that totally buys this whole witches thing, I mean their popular girls are totally in line to become the Next Supreme because of their wardrobe choices and their whole bitch self. I wanted to know them, and for moments I was like our Samantha must be a witch, to make sense all this curse thing. Then I was all for loving the ghost, I mean I’ve seen worst love interests, so no problem right there, he was nice and went to Europe to shop some groceries for their floor picnic, tell me if that’s not meaningful! Anyways, when it came to finding out who this big bad guy was, my money was always on Vivian, I mean pretty obvious cuz she was just your regular wicked stepmother, manhandling her stepdaughter and getting cosy with other men while her husband was in a coma; then I started suspecting Mrs. Merryweather, I mean that merry woman was too nice, too kindhearted and she knew her way on potion making, she knew Elijah’s name, that was unsettling but then it wasn’t her so… yeah, it would have been a meaner villain but I take Vivian since she actually came to care for Sam and her last words humanize her, making her more interesting and such a complex character. Can’t wait to get my hands on the next one.

Seventh book I read was Romanov by Nadine Brandes.

romanov

Anastasia is no longer a Royal Duchess of Russia, her family is no longer safe from dead, her brother is getting weaker by the second, her sisters are becoming too comfortable with their state of hostages, and the clock is ticking. She knows they’ll be killed unless she manages to open a magic doll that’s destined to protect the Romanov bloodline from any harm. But will it be too late once their captors get bored of hosting them?

WELL, WOW. NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO SAY THIS WASN’T FANTASTIC, CUZ I WAS!

Damn, where do I start? How marvellousl written this was, I mean one could simply emphatized with the Romanov, one could feel like them Bolsheviks, trying to cope with the fact they were gonna perish, I mean those parts when July was getting closer and one just couldn’t do much than just stare at their ignorance met with acceptance, of their fates. And the traumatic event itself made me even more aware of the inmense brutality of their deaths, I mean I never once watched Anastasia so I only had little historical background we all have, I knew about that terrible basement but still it was hard to watch. The heartache, and deshumanization that this Anastasia felt was undeniable. The pain was real, I mean my first tear was for Maria’s broken heart and that was only the beginning, then came the ache of Zash “betrayal”, then was obvi the justifiable despair Nastya felt over having to choose the right thing to do (what her papa would have wanted). I liked those moments alone, cuz it gave the book a human relatable factor instead of just having the magic to marvel us away, pretty correct way of making me keep reading; props for that.
“The more starved we were of kindness, the more we clung to any crumb of it.”
“Those who cannot laugh cannot properly live.”
“A kind word turns away wrath.”
Those words will remain within me.

After that I read The Diary of a Teenage Girl: An Account in Words and Pictures by Phoebe Gloeckner.

The Diary of a Teenage Girl An Account in Words and Pictures

Minnie nerve thought herself as an attractive young girl, but her life instantly changes the moment she decides to screw her mother’s boyfriend. It’s the 70s, the sexual liberation is in the air, and being a 15 year old is not a excuse to not make terrible, raw and just terrifyingly unforgettable mistakes.

ONCE YOU KNOW ITS RAW, THAT BECOMES UNIMPORTANT.

I’ve seen many comments, not giving a fuck about the story but the profanity, use of nudity and depiction of sexual/substance abuse; and I’m glad I’m not part of that bunch. I was well aware of its content so I wasn’t looking for the provocative comics, but for the title itself, the story of a young girl in the 70s, a girl with urges, depression, all over the place emotions, drugs, naivety and such a lonely heart trying to feel loved and safe. With Minnie’s story we weren’t sugar coated but we saw person after person taking advantage of her need of belonging, of her need to feel complete, of her adolescent been. We saw how any girl in that environment could take bad decisions with bad guidance, from a mother who never gave a damn, from a former stepfather who lied to shelter himself from his ugliness, from her mom’s boyfriend who only used her never sheltering her from his ugliness, from equally naive friends, from older figures that were supposed to look after her wellbeing, from authorities who kept blaming her as she was not a child still, from the times she lived in. We saw how she had to get herself out and see it as it was, that she had to be in charge of her wellbeing and detox her demons and questions, to see that she was better, that behind the lies there’s some truth, that she was better than all of them. It left me with that feeling, that even after all the blows life throws at you, while you expect some salvation, a hero to rescue you from a loveless existence, you’re given what you asked: a hero in the shape of yourself to finally get the love you need, the love for yourself. At least, that’s how I saw it, from more than just a tainted window with morbidity for nakedness, I saw a girl like any other who finally felt loved

The nineth book I read was The Wicked Deep by Shea Ernshaw.

The wicked deep

Penny Talbot has lived in Sparrow her entire life, her mom did the same and all them generations before. She knows there’s something more than just a couple witch trials in the town’s memory but the non.stop revenge three sister swore they would get every summer for their unfair murders. Now, when Penny gets too close with a tourist guy looking for a job in her house, she knows she might enter in a heartache that will never end, just like when… well, her father vanished.

** spoiler alert ** INTERESTING, ETHEREAL KIND OF SOOTHING ROMANCE.

I’m quite torn on this, I mean it was a good read, nobody can deny that. Beautifully written, well structured with expected yet unbelievable twists and turns. An unreliable surreal narrator and supernatural forces working for murder in an almost fantastic land in the middle of the Pacific. Pretty good, but I had an issue that has me annoyed, about poor little old Penny. I mean that poot girl was forced to kill her father and now doesn’t remember, was forced to have sex with Bo, and kill boys to satisfy the hunger of selfish Hazel. That girl was not consenting… That’s disturbing next to the fact Bo still loves the greedy ghost who hasn’t gone back to Owen cuz she suddenly “belongs there”, I’m not OK with that. Penny deserves better, she, her mom and dad, even Rose and easy Bo deserve better than still be a pawn in Hazel’s game. I’m still bitter about it. 😒

Later I read See All the Stars by Kit Frick.

see all the stars

There used to be four girls. Four popular lovely girls, handled by their leader like Charles Manson did with his Family. Then there were three, since one of them got a boyfriend. Now they are no longer one, and Ellory just wants to move on, forget the pain and keep going with the futur we wanted for herself before all the madness took over her mind and her heart. But it won’t be easy, because constant reminders keep appearing in the shape of notes hidden inside her locker telling her the truth over and over again.

STARTING TO READ THIS, I GENUINELY THOUGHT I WOULD GIVE IT THREE TO FOUR STARS.

I totally knew what was this secrecy thing, I mean the moment it was compared to We Were Liars, you know the wicked bitch in the west was gone for good and a product of Ellory’s psyche, I even figured out easilg that the bitch was betraying her hard on that twisted affair (which was so like Dangerous Girls😲) so I had it all figures out but the actual act of that day where the passing took place, I needed to know was the bitch murdered or what the fuck happened so I kept reading. I mean if even you figured everything important out, and you keep reading that must mean the story is damn good as the writing style (props to Kit, whom I thought was a guy but now I know is a woman 😜), I mean I was so into cuz even though I sided with the more visceral and raw sense of betrayal/justifiable anger side of Ellory, not so much on the I forgive you but I came to get it😒… Somehow, I mean the bitch was dead in a minute and it wasn’t a murder but still, it was not your fault but now she’s gone and she did got you away from that cowardly dog (sorry for the analogy ‘Courage’ 🐶) so there’s that but there’s also the betrayal and ache, and we have the whole move on arch too therefore it’s quite complicated but I was glad Kit gave her a new spin in that three months later part, she wasn’t defined by the ridiculous expiratory emails nor the guilt nor her depression, she actually did moved on for herself and her precious art. Sidenote: Ellory has become part of an elite group know as “The characters I want to shelter at all cost”. 😊

The eleventh book I read was Emergency Contact by Mary H. K. Choi.

emergency contact

Penny wanted to scape her mom, her life, her bad memories and her obsolete town. Now she’s in New York going to College, ready to become an author and just live in her new favorite place. Sam is stuck, but is ok with it, he’s paying his own tuition to become a documentary director while working full-time on a coffee shop for almost free plus getting some stable accomodation, of course. He just wants to move on when all his life comes to a point of extreme stress and is forced to accept an Emergency Contact, who happens to be a new young girl with a quirky personality and a friendly face.

** spoiler alert ** I FUCKING LOVED IT!

I just finished reading and all I have to say is how incredible it turned out to be, I mean I thought it would be a ridiculous little contemporary, nothing out of the ordinary of boy meets girl and they become friends and slowly something more. But I was so wrong, I mean it did had that but the emotional aspect, each of them had shit thrown into their lives and it was so fucking relatable I’m about to cry. I mean I felt so represented when it came to darling Penny, she was so quirky and just plain me when it comes to being too prepared to die when you’re no dying at all. Yeah, I’m that girl. She’s part of my list of characters to protect, damn that backstory that explained the lack of trust he held towards her mom, it’s understandable and I’m happy they have managed to get ok. In other news, even though Sam was the dream guy of every millenial (kinda what every girl wants *cliché*), he was more than just that, I mean the guy had doubts about his own appearance and his own worth for his fucking mom and that every adult he’d come accross as a young guy had given his dreams the finger. But he found a safe nest when it came to protective momma bear type Penny, and she’s relaxed and just sweer when she’s with him. So fucking cute; besides the characters (all of them) were lovely constructed I mean I can surely imagine those people as real, not ulterior motive kinda of people, you know. And the writing was so easy-going, I loved it! I hope I get to read more about this author, if she has Penny’s Korean couple story there I’d be granted to read it, really interesting takeout.
Here are some quotes, I enjoyed or that stayed whithin my heart for a while:
“Pathetic outcasts had standards too.”
“At least there was coffee. Reliable, delicious, life-giving coffee.”
“(…), she felt as if saying makeup names out loud set women’s rights back several decades.”
“Penny despised the world ‘adorable’. It was trivializing.”
“She was Instagram famous in the way that some girls just are. As if they were designed to indiscriminately detonate insecurities in other women.”
“(…) she felt destined to make something that made someone else feel how she did when she read it.”
“That night Penny read Maus twice and cried. She knew then that she had to become a writer.”
“What separated Penny from Amber was that anybody could smell Amber’s desperation. To Penny that was far more pathetic than simply being invisible. Penny would stop trying. Instead she’d spend time preparing for her future, living in books until the exciting part of her life would begin.”
“A female protagonist made the stories more inspiring than voyeouristic. It was so much fun to write about who you could be.”
“A character that scares you is worth exploring.”
“Hell really was other people.”
“It’s never too late for Pringles”
“Writers are sensitive”
“She hadn’t known he wore glasses and Penny was crazy about glasses as a thing. They were so much better than contacts. Why touch your own eyeballs when you could accessorize your face?”
“Hiding was not a coping mechanism. It was delusional.”
“Loving someone was traumatizing. You never knew what would happen to them out there in the world. Everything precious was also vulnerable.”
“To be the hero, you had to decide it was you”
“’Everything doesn’t have to be a crisis, Penny,’ he said.”

Then there was The Truth Behind the Lies by Amanda Searcy.

THE TRUTH BENEATH THE LIE

Kayla and Betsy are in a mess. Kayla jugles her job with her unstable newly sober mother and the fact that if her mother hadn’t gain her rights over her daughter back, Kayla could still pretend she had a family with her foster mom, she could have been happy and with a bright future but now she just wants to be over with it. Betsy needs to forget and do her duty, startover in a new state with her giggly mother and her dark toned aptitute as she struggles with the memories of a twisted past mistake.

DAMN, ALL I CAN SAY IS DAMN!.

So in the beginning I wasn’t sure and actually didn’t remember why I had picked this book, I could recall the synopsis nor its genre, I mean I was clueless reading this kinda mysterious yet dull dual POV thing until I figure out pretty fucking quickly that both these girls were the same person and that one was the past and other the present, I mean I was thinking that obvi Jordan was the killer she found out and now he’s stalking her so she had to runaway with Marie, but no turns out Jordan was messed up and the FBI too, and Elton, and she had to vanish with her actual mom. But the moments that finally had me sick to my stomach and truly afraid were that in which the FBI were sons of bitches, sick fucking bastards towards a seventeen year old girl, I mean how much of a shithead can you be threatening a teen?! And also, the whole Jordan being with the Koi, an a bit Yakuza, I mean I was like I’m off, that shit’s just crazy terrifying, those are nightmare inducing criminal bands I mean god! So… Yeah, I enjoyed reading it and now I feel completely safe, I mean I love when an author manages to transport the reader into the protagonist’s state of mind into their depression, seclusion, paranoia and heartbreak, I mean one is left speechless I mean look at me at almost four am finishing this. Goals.

Finally I read The Merciless by Danielle Vega, the first one in the series of the same name.

the merciless

Sofia just wanted a fresh start after being bullied to her worst state, so when popular girls offer her a friendly hand of love and Christian kindness, she takes it without questions. Soon she’ll come to realise these girls aren’t simple pretty preppy Jesus freaks but could turn her into a murderer if she follows their advices and lies. Will she be able to tell wrong from good or perhaps it’s just too late for her?

DAAAAMNN!!!

So, Danielle Vega always manages to screw with my mind, my fears and my fucking nerves when it comes to this crazy stories, I mean she’s good at what she does, the creativeness is 100% worthy, however I do have one complain: What the hell with Sofie trusting them strangers so easily, I mean I was a teen once, so I know what’s to be impressionable by popular girls and their fantasy perfect world, right? But there’s a thick line between luck and plain fucked up baptism, I mean as soon as she got that I thought she was gonna call them freaks and run the hell away from them sick girls. Seriously, but she still went along a didn’t discuss how messed up their nature was, she’s just too damn dumb or what? When it came to other things, like the gore nature, the twist, the murder and supernatural aspects, I was pleased I mean it was definetely no the Exorcist meets Mean Girls, but the fucking Evil Dead meets Jawbreaker, no joke. Now I’ll go have some nightmares, thanks a lot Danielle, you always manage to ruin my good night sleep with your creepy writting.